I’ve been meaning to participate in The Sessions for a long time, and this month’s topic seems to be custom made for my inner brewer. Hosted by DrinkDrank, the question is simply this – what if you were to design the perfect brew?

The “perfect beer for you, personally” is a tough question to answer because I like variety. I love US-inspired pale ales dripping with citrusy hops; I love sweet, dark syrupy monsters; I love a fresh malty lager on a hot summer’s day.

I’m too much of a beer-tart to have one perfect beer. Still, if I had to pick just one beer it would be a quadrupel-inspired creation:

• strong – in the 10-12% ABV range; strong enough to give you an alcohol heat without being overwhelming
• dark – not black, but a rich, deep ruby brown; reminiscent of a well aged, deep red wine
• sweet – dark honey, and lots of toffee and caramel sugar flavours but without any burnt treacle overtones
• thick – a proper cream-like consistency that coats the inside of your mouth, allowing all the flavours to linger even longer
• gently carbonated – just a gentle smattering of champagne-style bubbles; not so fizzy that it lifts the flavours and sensations off your tongue
• hops – more aroma than bittering, as the beer is about sweetness and alcohol; something fruity rather than floral; above all English – Bramling Cross perhaps
• fruit – dark autumnal berry flavours; actual berries in addition to the hops
• chilli – subtle, but producing just a hint of lingering heat that is distinct from the alcohol; it should sneak up on you and leave your throat tingling

As it’s a quadrupel, I might not be able to resist the temptation of calling it Four Candles.

Ok, now I want to make this beer.